Finding God's Will

Trying to figure out God’s will is not as simple as praying and waiting.  Yes, I believe that is part of it but I also believe that when we’re on a quest to live for the Lord that we have to take action.  Right now I’m in a season of having to work to figure out God’s will.  I have had seasons where His will fell into my lap like a big, slobbery dog – there was no denying it.  Yet, I find myself in a season of asking questions, pushing in one direction only to be told no.  I’m not sure why or if anyone can relate, but this is my season of quest.

When I was a kid I loved Johnny Quest.  I loved his adventurous spirit and willingness to take risks for the good of the quest.  At the moment I’m feeling like Melissa Quest – minus Hadji and Bandit.  My Quest fans will get that reference! J I’m on a quest, but the difference is I have no idea what I’m trying to find and why I’m looking.  I just know that there is unrest in my spirit and I have miles to go and many roads left to untravel.

I have read that when you’re in God’s will that it’s peaceful and fits perfectly.  My mom said to think of it like a pair of gloves, when they slide on effortlessly and fit perfectly – that’s God’s will.  I think the part that is sometimes difficult for me is to find that perfect fitting pair of gloves.  What I’m learning is that often you have to try on a bunch of pairs to realize they’re not right before sliding into the perfect fit. 

I don’t believe that Jesus will always make our lives and paths easy.  I think He knows when we need to grow and somehow that ends up being a quest for me.  I think that in different seasons He does make His will easy to see and find.  Other times, He wants us to do the hard word because the lesson may be in the dead-end tunnels.  For now, I’m going to grab my trusty Bandit(Hoover) and keep forging ahead and try and enjoy the quest and not obsessing about the unknown.

Xo Melissa

Silent Storm is Hitting...What to Do??

A silent and invisible storm is on the way and all you want t do is hide out in bed.  Stop!  I believe that at our best we live our life one moment at a time, one day at a time.  It is a 12 step principle but I also believe it is a Godly practice as well.  I believe that God wants us to be present in our lives and not be worrying about tomorrow or what it may bring.  Whenever I am stuck in the midst of a difficult time or a difficult storm I find that it’s easy to start worrying about the ‘what if’s’…I worry and worry about things yet to come.   Then I remember my Dad’s advice, “Don’t try to figure everything out and don’t just sit and give up. Get up, go to work and do the next ‘right’ thing.”  It’s this advice that has carried me through many a tough times.

I don’t believe that any of us will ever be immune from difficulty.  I am also one of those people that get a gut feeling when a big change is coming.  It’s happened to me a few times; I will be overtaken by a deep, gut feeling that a major change is coming.  I have learned to share it with my husband because it’s a heads up for him as well.  I have yet to be wrong when that feeling overcomes me.  My natural inclination would be to stick my head in the sand and pretend that I never felt it and all is well.  I now have chosen to handle the gut feeling differently because I believe my gut is the Holy Spirit giving me a heads up. So I share my feeling, pray and wait. 

If you are waiting on this invisible storm, I know it can be scary.  I know for me, that I feel a change in my spirit.  I can only liken it to being able to feel the change of pressure in the atmosphere when a storm is moving in.  You feel the pressure in your sinuses and know by the feel of the air that something is coming.  That is how my gut feels to me.  I feel it and then just wait for it to hit, not knowing the day or time it will hit.  What I have found is that in this waiting I go back to my Dad’s advice and do the next right thing.  I don’t sit and wait, I move, I pray and wait. 

We aren’t meant to live on the sidelines of life.  We aren’t meant to be observers, but instead be participants.  If you feel a storm in your life is there or on the way and all you want to do is crawl in bed and pull the covers over your head, I challenge you to take the Dad test.  Get up, pray for strength and peace to get through it and then do the next right thing.  Clean your house, do your laundry, go to work, eat out with friends – keep moving and do the next right thing.  It’s in the next right thing that I have found God’s peace and strength to face whatever storm is on the way. 

Xo Melissa

Why All The Stop Signs God??

 Sometimes life seems like a bumpy, curvy road full of stop signs.  Just when you feel like things are picking up – stop sign.  Just when you get going at a good clip – stop sign.  I admit – I’m not a big fan of stop signs.  Instead I would rather drive the long and curvy road – maybe slow down – but definitely not stop!  Yet, probably for this reason alone God has chosen to line my life at this moment with a lot of stop signs.

I’ve shared on the air and in person with friends and family that this is a difficult season.  It’s not the first difficult season, but it is one of the longest and slowest.  As a couple, we feel like we have had our legs kicked out from under us.  The security of our friends is no longer an option.  Our financial security is also missing.  I keep asking myself about what lesson God has for me and us in this time.  I know that depending solely on Him is part of it but I also feel like there is another lesson still to come.  I’ll be honest, I’m not really excited about any more lesson!. 

The lesson that I have had to repeat time and time again in my life is patience.  I use to say, ‘patience is a virtue, it’s just not one of mine!’  Yep, probably should have kept that thought to myself because I keep living this lesson.  The road to patience and peace is the road I believe I’m on right now.  The stop signs – if I had to guess they are a way of reminding me that I’m not in control.  A sage reminder but not one of my favorites considering I’m a control freak. 

Okay, so if this is why stop signs are loitering my life when will this lesson be over?  Aw, this is the quagmire I’m currently stumbling around on.  See, I have no answers.  As I say on my show, I just have a lot of questions about this but no real answers.  What I do know is that I’m being asked to stop a lot and all I want to do is speed .

Xo

Melissa

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Please join me there!  Here is a link to the latest blog on living life well...

http://www.heymelissaandmatt.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=693:are-you-living-or-living-well&catid=21:melissas-blogs&Itemid=3

xo
Melissa

Aren't We All Just 'Misfit' Toys??

Do you remember in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer when he went to visit the 'Island of Misfit Toys'?  All the toys had things that made them just a little different.  They were still toys, but the car had square wheels, the elephant had polka dots and so on.  As Christians are we any different?  Aren't we all just a bunch of misfits looking to fit in?  I ask this after receiving an email from David, who at 17 feels like a Christian misfit.  His old friends say he's too "religious" his church friends say he isn't "religious" enough and he is left feeling like he doesn't fit in anywhere.

As I read his email my heart broke for him and also became angry against his youth group/church friends who were shunning him.  I actually don't fault his old friends, I believe that they don't know any better.  I do believe that his youth group/Christian friends should know better and if not, then why not?  I have no proof except my own life that we Christians can be a self righteous- judgemental bunch.  New Christians are sometimes the worst, at least I know I was.  You believe that life is black and white, because faith is.  Instead of believing that salvation is black and white and that we as people are the gray or better yet the colors of the rainbow in between.

I believe that our walk with the Lord is just that, our walk.  When we try to "fit in" with some groups of Christians, we're trying hard to please them so that we'll fit in.  I have been there, I have been the new Christian who wanted friends so badly that I molded my faith and walk after what I saw others do versus molding it  to whom God says He is and wants me to be.  Actually moving to Christian radio would be a lot easier if I would just mold to what is the 'norm' for a lot of Christian radio.  If I did Christian radio the way I used to hear it I would never rock the boat because I wouldn't have any strong opinions and I would never challenge me or you on anything.  How boring!!  It might be easier for me, but I know it wouldn't glorify God and who He made me to be.  I believe that making ourselves fit into a Christian mold strips us of our God given personality and convictions.  We start resembling a toy store where all the toys look alike and you don't care which one you get.  Who remembers the details of a molded toy or person versus the person who shows their cracks, flaws and what makes them unique?  I don't know about you, but I'll be the misfit toy that brings Glory to God by being authentic any ol' day!
xo Melissa

Can You Be An Opinionated- Semi-People Pleasing-Perfectionist? Yes!!

I hate to make mistakes, especially in front of anyone.  As I was sitting in a traffic jam on the way to my daughter's school today I wanted to turn around and take a different route.  The cars were stacked up on this 2 lane street about 50 deep and from the back seat I hear, "Traffic jam, Mom?...How about a short cut?".  The funny thing is that I'm sitting in this "traffic jam" thinking the same thing.  We need to get out of here.  The thoughts running through my head were; I had just turned onto this road, a nice man had let me in and my concern was oh, he just let me in and now I'm going to turn around and go back the way I came from.  I'll look silly and like I don't know what I'm doing.  As I write this I realize how silly this sounds!  Yet, that is exactly what I sat in the traffic jam thinking about.  I was feeling an undue obligation to this stranger to stay in the traffic jam because he was kind enough to let me get in front of him.  After realizing why I was still sitting in this crazy jam I made the brave move and made a very slow 3 point turn.  As I looked in my rear view mirror I noticed something.  My ability to get out of line started a wave of other cars doing the same thing and following me.

I find it hard to believe that at my age I am still struggling with little decisions like the traffic jam.  The traffic jam is such the perfect analogy for a perfectionist/semi-people pleaser working to live life as a RC(Rebel Christian).  In my imperfections I am bound and gagged from wanting to appear anything but organized and totally together.  Little things like feeling an undue obligation to a stranger are just part of the much bigger puzzle.  How silly is it that I am concerned what a total stranger will think of me?  How silly is it that I'm afraid of bothering anyone around me by making a 3 point turn on a 2 way road?  How silly to care that someone who I don't know, is sitting in their car judging me for not being patient enough to wait out this jam?  Who cares!!!  Sadly, I must or I wouldn't have gone through this thought process.

Being an opinionated/semi-people pleasing -perfectionist stinks.  It's the reason I've stayed in relationships too long, the reason I don't end toxic friendships and the reason I was hesitant to make a 3 point turn on a busy 2 way road.  I'm sure a psychologist could dive into my head and trace this back to my childhood, eating disorder and so on and they'd probably be right.  Yet, I'm not looking for an excuse, just growth to living a grace filled free life.  I'm looking to take my RC attitude to a deeper level.  I'm hoping that in finding God's grace and freedom I stop worrying so much about what other people think and about making mistakes.  I pray that the RC in me extends not just to my spiritual walk but also to living an authentic, worry free, fun life.  A life that will make an awkward 3 point turn whenever I need to.

xo Melissa

Want To Be a Rebel Christian With Me?

"If I could write a letter to me..."I love that song by Brad Paisley.  Yep, I admit it I love Christian music and I also love Country music.  In fact I also love Def Leppard, old 80's rap and Frank Sinatra.  As a Christian I have often felt the pressure to become a cookie cutter Christian.  I remember dating a guy in college who thought I was a rebel because I had Def Leppard, White Snake and AC/DC cassettes mixed in with my Steven Curtis Chapman.  He seemed like a Godly guy, so I thought he must be right.  I can't like all of this music.  With this thought started a  long struggle in my mind and heart of being who I was and loving the Lord.

I can honestly say that I am still growing in God's freedom.  I have been the judgmental, legalistic Christian who wanted all of us to fit in a pretty Christian mold.  The funny thing is that I also rebelled against all that I thought I had to be.  The problem and actually the solution is that I don't like to be put in box any more than I'm sure God does.  I truly believe that I rebelled during my 20's against God not because of who He is, but because of who I tried to make Him.  He never told me the 'rules' that I thought I had to live by.  I invented these rules in my head and then became angry when I hated them and didn't want to adhere to them.  How crazy is that?!

Now, I constantly push myself not to become lazy with my faith and freedom.  I am constantly challenging myself with questions about the freedom I have in the Lord.  I received an email yesterday from a young woman struggling with an eating disorder, struggling with her faith, a pastor's kid and also she's a lesbian.  All I could think is that I just wanted to hug her and tell her I was sorry for the mean things said to her and tell her that I love her and so does God.  I can't imagine the Christian bullying -
( yep, that's my new term) that she has gone through.  Wonder how many people told her she couldn't be a lesbian and Christian?  I wonder how many people told her what she was doing wrong vs. stopped to get to know her and love her?  I wonder how many of the people I knew in college would be these people.  I wonder if I would have had the courage to stand up for her and God?  I don't know about the me then, but the me now says  HECK yes!  The RC (Rebel Christian) in me would probably even use a choicer word.  :)  Still like me?

It amazes me the love and freedom I can feel when I'm not worried about trying to fit in and be accepted.  I admit that at times I still struggle with wanting to be liked and wondering if my RC attitude makes me an outcast, but I pray and try to push through the doubts.  We're all different, I believe that we're really all RC, which makes us really just a body of believers together.  If we're the body of Christ, why should the arm look like the leg?  It shouldn't and doesn't and I believe that is why we're not supposed to be a cookie cutter of anyone.

xo
Melissa