Fear Is Strangling Our Lives

We hold back from living our life because of the stranglehold of fear.  I’m a firm believer that fear is for a lot of us our greatest enemy.  It’s the demon that tells us that our ideas won’t work, it’s the nagging voice in our head that asks why take the risk.  Fear for some of us is crippling and leads to a life of mediocrity.  I had a boss years ago that would always pose every indecision or problem with a question, “What are you afraid of?”  It was very Oprahesque and yet honestly it was a great learning time in my life.  Despite fighting the fear question, I learned to honestly ask it and low and behold I always came up with an answer.

Today I ask myself what am I afraid of on a regular basis.  When I’m stuck in a rut or just mulling over a problem and I ask what role fear is playing in my decision or indecision.  I have found the next question is crucial and that is, ‘Is this a valid fear?’  It is funny how often the answer is no, that isn’t rational or even a real probability.  I believe that there is a reason that the Bible addresses fear so often.  I believe that is a subtle yet effective way that the Devil uses to get in our heads and eventually affect our thinking and hearts. 

I have readily admitted that I hate change.  Change tends to feel scary, because the outcome is so often unknown.  At the heart of hating change is fear.  The fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of ______.  This year I am trying to embrace change and adopt a more flexible mindset.  A friend of mine calls it going with the flow, but for me it is a whole lot more complicated that adopting a Zen like attitude.  It’s accepting and appreciating change.  It’s acknowledging the fear that lives behind the sign of every fork in the road.  

Mediocrity chokes a marriage to death because fear stops couples from saying how they feel and what they need.  Fear manifests into life mediocrity when a business idea goes untested because of fear of failure.  Fear stops us from living and forces us into plain existence.  My grandmother told me the best part of growing old is, “You don’t care what anyone thinks or says about you.”  My goal this year is to start living life now with that mindset and start kicking fear to the curb.  xo Melissa

Lord, How Did I Get Here?

The older I get the more I recognize my character defects and how many I have! Over the past couple of days God has revealed a character defect that has been life changing.  Here is what I have learned; I have two reactionary speeds; Analytical paralysis- (1st gear) and impulsive reaction- (5^th gear).  I have come to realize that I tend to make big decisions in my life in 5^th gear.  I may analyze something for a while but I often don’t let myself go through the steps of gears 2, 3 and 4.  I use car metaphors, because I have come to believe that we are like cars and need to go through the proper gears when making decisions.  It’s when we skip steps or gears that we end up on the rumble strips of life.

There is a reason that God calls us to wait on Him and be patient. (Psalm 27:14,)  There is also a purpose to Him asking us to bring our requests and prayers to him alone.  (Philippians 4:6)  I believe that He wants us to go through the proper steps when we’re making decisions, especially big life decisions.  What I have been recently convicted of is that I tend to give myself just two options when making decisions.  I analyze, and over analyze and over think a decision so much so that I stay stuck in first gear and never make a decision.  OR…I barely analyze my options before revving up to fifth gear and jumping into the deep end. Unfortunately reacting impulsively is my character defect that I tend to do on big decisions.  Where to go for dinner…oh, I’ll over analyze that bugger!

Let me give you an example – my beautiful dream house aka ‘The Money Pit’.   I knew when I saw a picture of this house that I had to have it.  It was priced right, in the right area and right school district, not to mention that it was the only house in this specific area that we could afford.  Therefore, I must have it and it didn’t matter if I ever saw it!  I couldn’t make it out to view the house, so my husband flew out to decide whether or not we would be buying this house.  He tried to voice some concerns, but they sounded minor to me so we bought the two-story Colonial farmhouse without me ever seeing it.  Mistake number one.  I should have been more patient, investigated it more and realized that maybe this house looks perfect but really isn’t the perfect house after all.  I should have waited, prayed, researched, prayed and done my due diligence before buying a house sight unseen.  Yet, I didn’t because it sounded like the perfect house therefore how could this not have been God’s plans for us?  Now tens of thousands of dollars later in repairs I see the flaws of this ‘dream’ house and realize that I fell in love with the ‘dream’ and didn’t wait to investigate the reality.

I could give you numerous examples of how I’ve rushed into decisions only to say to God – “How did I get here?”  Now that I have seen this character defect I have to fix it and I know that means a test is coming!  We live in a fast paced, impatient world.  We (I) want things when I want them and often feel like I can spot God’s will therefore I should just jump.  My new process will truly be waiting on the Lord;  asking for His direction, praying, waiting, listening and then asking again.  I will treat my decisions more than a high performance car and ease into 5^th gear versus grinding the gears to get to where I feel like I should be.  I need to start treating my God given life and the decisions He has given me like a Lamborghini versus a Pinto.  Xo Melissa