Lord We Have So Many Questions...

No parent should ever have to bury his or her child.  Despite our differences, that is one statement that we can all agree upon.  Yet this past week, we have witnessed a nightmare for the families of those killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School.  Parents, young and old are burying their children this week in Newtown, CT. Children that probably have Christmas presents under the tree and children who were probably excited for their upcoming Christmas break.  These young children will never play during recess again, never dance at their prom and never feel the separation pain of going off to college.  Yes, the children are denied experiencing all of this and their parents are robbed of witnessing their children grow up.

There are no words to describe the grief that I feel when I see the victims and their families of Sandy Hook Elementary.  As I dropped my seven year-old daughter off for school I started to panic.  I saw her little head bobbing along with her friends walking into the school and I just sat watching from my car.  I was ‘supposed to’ pull forward and keep the car pool line going, but I couldn’t make myself move.  All I could do was watch her and pray protection on her that day.  I imagined what it must have felt like for the families of the 20 children killed.  Did they relive over and over their final moments with their children?  Did they wish they’d said one more time that I love you?  Did they think about those little arms wrapping around them for their nightly hug before bed? 

This side of heaven we will probably never have the answer to the ‘why’ question.  I do believe in a holy God who has a plan and purpose for each beautiful life.  I do believe that His ways, His thoughts are not mine.  Yet, I don’t understand an evil that could take the lives of innocent children and adults.  I don’t understand why families have to feel this unimaginable grief.  I don’t understand, but I do believe that God will use this tragedy to change lives and for His glory.   I believe.  Without faith this tragedy would seem hopeless.  With faith it feels devastating, but I cling to my faith in a sovereign and loving God.  A God who loved us so much he sacrificed his own son for us.  ~ Blessings xo Melissa

I Have Super Powers!!

I have amazing super powers, I can be in two places at once.  Although it sounds impressive, it is actually a character defect that I’m working on correcting.  Today it happened so quickly I didn’t realize that I left my body.  I was driving my daughter to school, listening to her sing her favorite Taylor Swift song when my friend ‘worry’ lifted me right out of my body and took my mind down a far away road.  All of a sudden I’m turning into the school when I realized that I couldn’t account for the past 4 minutes.  My super powers had robbed me of that one thing I can’t get back, time.

My goal today is the same as yesterday, to start being present in my life.  To stop thinking about the past, stop thinking about the future and stop worrying about what is out of my control.  It’s kind of like the serenity prayer, “God grant me the wisdom to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”  When I live my life by that prayer I find that I am present more often.  The momentary lapse of time disappears and I find that I actually feel the sun’s warmth through the car window, hear my daughter singing and feel my soul and my body connect. 

My latest super power challenge is how to stop my mind from wandering from my body.  I have found that for me stopping this mind trip before it goes to far is key.  I tell myself to leave those thoughts, leave those worries and take a big deep breath.  When I concentrate on the breath, I have to be present.  I then tell God my worries, my hopes, my concerns and leave them with Him.  You would think that the God who created the universe, who cares for the lilies of the fields and the birds in the air would be the best qualified to care for my life.  Yet, I find that by not being present in my life I am actually trying to do His job.  Not being present robs me of the joys that God has given me.  Not being present robs me of being there to witness my daughter growing up. 

Maybe this sounds extreme to you, but in my gut I believe that not being present robs God’s given joy from my life.  That is why my super powers really aren’t so super after all.  My working wish is that I could transform myself into being super present.

Xo Melissa

Finding God's Will

Trying to figure out God’s will is not as simple as praying and waiting.  Yes, I believe that is part of it but I also believe that when we’re on a quest to live for the Lord that we have to take action.  Right now I’m in a season of having to work to figure out God’s will.  I have had seasons where His will fell into my lap like a big, slobbery dog – there was no denying it.  Yet, I find myself in a season of asking questions, pushing in one direction only to be told no.  I’m not sure why or if anyone can relate, but this is my season of quest.

When I was a kid I loved Johnny Quest.  I loved his adventurous spirit and willingness to take risks for the good of the quest.  At the moment I’m feeling like Melissa Quest – minus Hadji and Bandit.  My Quest fans will get that reference! J I’m on a quest, but the difference is I have no idea what I’m trying to find and why I’m looking.  I just know that there is unrest in my spirit and I have miles to go and many roads left to untravel.

I have read that when you’re in God’s will that it’s peaceful and fits perfectly.  My mom said to think of it like a pair of gloves, when they slide on effortlessly and fit perfectly – that’s God’s will.  I think the part that is sometimes difficult for me is to find that perfect fitting pair of gloves.  What I’m learning is that often you have to try on a bunch of pairs to realize they’re not right before sliding into the perfect fit. 

I don’t believe that Jesus will always make our lives and paths easy.  I think He knows when we need to grow and somehow that ends up being a quest for me.  I think that in different seasons He does make His will easy to see and find.  Other times, He wants us to do the hard word because the lesson may be in the dead-end tunnels.  For now, I’m going to grab my trusty Bandit(Hoover) and keep forging ahead and try and enjoy the quest and not obsessing about the unknown.

Xo Melissa

Silent Storm is Hitting...What to Do??

A silent and invisible storm is on the way and all you want t do is hide out in bed.  Stop!  I believe that at our best we live our life one moment at a time, one day at a time.  It is a 12 step principle but I also believe it is a Godly practice as well.  I believe that God wants us to be present in our lives and not be worrying about tomorrow or what it may bring.  Whenever I am stuck in the midst of a difficult time or a difficult storm I find that it’s easy to start worrying about the ‘what if’s’…I worry and worry about things yet to come.   Then I remember my Dad’s advice, “Don’t try to figure everything out and don’t just sit and give up. Get up, go to work and do the next ‘right’ thing.”  It’s this advice that has carried me through many a tough times.

I don’t believe that any of us will ever be immune from difficulty.  I am also one of those people that get a gut feeling when a big change is coming.  It’s happened to me a few times; I will be overtaken by a deep, gut feeling that a major change is coming.  I have learned to share it with my husband because it’s a heads up for him as well.  I have yet to be wrong when that feeling overcomes me.  My natural inclination would be to stick my head in the sand and pretend that I never felt it and all is well.  I now have chosen to handle the gut feeling differently because I believe my gut is the Holy Spirit giving me a heads up. So I share my feeling, pray and wait. 

If you are waiting on this invisible storm, I know it can be scary.  I know for me, that I feel a change in my spirit.  I can only liken it to being able to feel the change of pressure in the atmosphere when a storm is moving in.  You feel the pressure in your sinuses and know by the feel of the air that something is coming.  That is how my gut feels to me.  I feel it and then just wait for it to hit, not knowing the day or time it will hit.  What I have found is that in this waiting I go back to my Dad’s advice and do the next right thing.  I don’t sit and wait, I move, I pray and wait. 

We aren’t meant to live on the sidelines of life.  We aren’t meant to be observers, but instead be participants.  If you feel a storm in your life is there or on the way and all you want to do is crawl in bed and pull the covers over your head, I challenge you to take the Dad test.  Get up, pray for strength and peace to get through it and then do the next right thing.  Clean your house, do your laundry, go to work, eat out with friends – keep moving and do the next right thing.  It’s in the next right thing that I have found God’s peace and strength to face whatever storm is on the way. 

Xo Melissa

Why All The Stop Signs God??

 Sometimes life seems like a bumpy, curvy road full of stop signs.  Just when you feel like things are picking up – stop sign.  Just when you get going at a good clip – stop sign.  I admit – I’m not a big fan of stop signs.  Instead I would rather drive the long and curvy road – maybe slow down – but definitely not stop!  Yet, probably for this reason alone God has chosen to line my life at this moment with a lot of stop signs.

I’ve shared on the air and in person with friends and family that this is a difficult season.  It’s not the first difficult season, but it is one of the longest and slowest.  As a couple, we feel like we have had our legs kicked out from under us.  The security of our friends is no longer an option.  Our financial security is also missing.  I keep asking myself about what lesson God has for me and us in this time.  I know that depending solely on Him is part of it but I also feel like there is another lesson still to come.  I’ll be honest, I’m not really excited about any more lesson!. 

The lesson that I have had to repeat time and time again in my life is patience.  I use to say, ‘patience is a virtue, it’s just not one of mine!’  Yep, probably should have kept that thought to myself because I keep living this lesson.  The road to patience and peace is the road I believe I’m on right now.  The stop signs – if I had to guess they are a way of reminding me that I’m not in control.  A sage reminder but not one of my favorites considering I’m a control freak. 

Okay, so if this is why stop signs are loitering my life when will this lesson be over?  Aw, this is the quagmire I’m currently stumbling around on.  See, I have no answers.  As I say on my show, I just have a lot of questions about this but no real answers.  What I do know is that I’m being asked to stop a lot and all I want to do is speed .

Xo

Melissa