Aren't We All Just 'Misfit' Toys??

Do you remember in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer when he went to visit the 'Island of Misfit Toys'?  All the toys had things that made them just a little different.  They were still toys, but the car had square wheels, the elephant had polka dots and so on.  As Christians are we any different?  Aren't we all just a bunch of misfits looking to fit in?  I ask this after receiving an email from David, who at 17 feels like a Christian misfit.  His old friends say he's too "religious" his church friends say he isn't "religious" enough and he is left feeling like he doesn't fit in anywhere.

As I read his email my heart broke for him and also became angry against his youth group/church friends who were shunning him.  I actually don't fault his old friends, I believe that they don't know any better.  I do believe that his youth group/Christian friends should know better and if not, then why not?  I have no proof except my own life that we Christians can be a self righteous- judgemental bunch.  New Christians are sometimes the worst, at least I know I was.  You believe that life is black and white, because faith is.  Instead of believing that salvation is black and white and that we as people are the gray or better yet the colors of the rainbow in between.

I believe that our walk with the Lord is just that, our walk.  When we try to "fit in" with some groups of Christians, we're trying hard to please them so that we'll fit in.  I have been there, I have been the new Christian who wanted friends so badly that I molded my faith and walk after what I saw others do versus molding it  to whom God says He is and wants me to be.  Actually moving to Christian radio would be a lot easier if I would just mold to what is the 'norm' for a lot of Christian radio.  If I did Christian radio the way I used to hear it I would never rock the boat because I wouldn't have any strong opinions and I would never challenge me or you on anything.  How boring!!  It might be easier for me, but I know it wouldn't glorify God and who He made me to be.  I believe that making ourselves fit into a Christian mold strips us of our God given personality and convictions.  We start resembling a toy store where all the toys look alike and you don't care which one you get.  Who remembers the details of a molded toy or person versus the person who shows their cracks, flaws and what makes them unique?  I don't know about you, but I'll be the misfit toy that brings Glory to God by being authentic any ol' day!
xo Melissa

Can You Be An Opinionated- Semi-People Pleasing-Perfectionist? Yes!!

I hate to make mistakes, especially in front of anyone.  As I was sitting in a traffic jam on the way to my daughter's school today I wanted to turn around and take a different route.  The cars were stacked up on this 2 lane street about 50 deep and from the back seat I hear, "Traffic jam, Mom?...How about a short cut?".  The funny thing is that I'm sitting in this "traffic jam" thinking the same thing.  We need to get out of here.  The thoughts running through my head were; I had just turned onto this road, a nice man had let me in and my concern was oh, he just let me in and now I'm going to turn around and go back the way I came from.  I'll look silly and like I don't know what I'm doing.  As I write this I realize how silly this sounds!  Yet, that is exactly what I sat in the traffic jam thinking about.  I was feeling an undue obligation to this stranger to stay in the traffic jam because he was kind enough to let me get in front of him.  After realizing why I was still sitting in this crazy jam I made the brave move and made a very slow 3 point turn.  As I looked in my rear view mirror I noticed something.  My ability to get out of line started a wave of other cars doing the same thing and following me.

I find it hard to believe that at my age I am still struggling with little decisions like the traffic jam.  The traffic jam is such the perfect analogy for a perfectionist/semi-people pleaser working to live life as a RC(Rebel Christian).  In my imperfections I am bound and gagged from wanting to appear anything but organized and totally together.  Little things like feeling an undue obligation to a stranger are just part of the much bigger puzzle.  How silly is it that I am concerned what a total stranger will think of me?  How silly is it that I'm afraid of bothering anyone around me by making a 3 point turn on a 2 way road?  How silly to care that someone who I don't know, is sitting in their car judging me for not being patient enough to wait out this jam?  Who cares!!!  Sadly, I must or I wouldn't have gone through this thought process.

Being an opinionated/semi-people pleasing -perfectionist stinks.  It's the reason I've stayed in relationships too long, the reason I don't end toxic friendships and the reason I was hesitant to make a 3 point turn on a busy 2 way road.  I'm sure a psychologist could dive into my head and trace this back to my childhood, eating disorder and so on and they'd probably be right.  Yet, I'm not looking for an excuse, just growth to living a grace filled free life.  I'm looking to take my RC attitude to a deeper level.  I'm hoping that in finding God's grace and freedom I stop worrying so much about what other people think and about making mistakes.  I pray that the RC in me extends not just to my spiritual walk but also to living an authentic, worry free, fun life.  A life that will make an awkward 3 point turn whenever I need to.

xo Melissa

Want To Be a Rebel Christian With Me?

"If I could write a letter to me..."I love that song by Brad Paisley.  Yep, I admit it I love Christian music and I also love Country music.  In fact I also love Def Leppard, old 80's rap and Frank Sinatra.  As a Christian I have often felt the pressure to become a cookie cutter Christian.  I remember dating a guy in college who thought I was a rebel because I had Def Leppard, White Snake and AC/DC cassettes mixed in with my Steven Curtis Chapman.  He seemed like a Godly guy, so I thought he must be right.  I can't like all of this music.  With this thought started a  long struggle in my mind and heart of being who I was and loving the Lord.

I can honestly say that I am still growing in God's freedom.  I have been the judgmental, legalistic Christian who wanted all of us to fit in a pretty Christian mold.  The funny thing is that I also rebelled against all that I thought I had to be.  The problem and actually the solution is that I don't like to be put in box any more than I'm sure God does.  I truly believe that I rebelled during my 20's against God not because of who He is, but because of who I tried to make Him.  He never told me the 'rules' that I thought I had to live by.  I invented these rules in my head and then became angry when I hated them and didn't want to adhere to them.  How crazy is that?!

Now, I constantly push myself not to become lazy with my faith and freedom.  I am constantly challenging myself with questions about the freedom I have in the Lord.  I received an email yesterday from a young woman struggling with an eating disorder, struggling with her faith, a pastor's kid and also she's a lesbian.  All I could think is that I just wanted to hug her and tell her I was sorry for the mean things said to her and tell her that I love her and so does God.  I can't imagine the Christian bullying -
( yep, that's my new term) that she has gone through.  Wonder how many people told her she couldn't be a lesbian and Christian?  I wonder how many people told her what she was doing wrong vs. stopped to get to know her and love her?  I wonder how many of the people I knew in college would be these people.  I wonder if I would have had the courage to stand up for her and God?  I don't know about the me then, but the me now says  HECK yes!  The RC (Rebel Christian) in me would probably even use a choicer word.  :)  Still like me?

It amazes me the love and freedom I can feel when I'm not worried about trying to fit in and be accepted.  I admit that at times I still struggle with wanting to be liked and wondering if my RC attitude makes me an outcast, but I pray and try to push through the doubts.  We're all different, I believe that we're really all RC, which makes us really just a body of believers together.  If we're the body of Christ, why should the arm look like the leg?  It shouldn't and doesn't and I believe that is why we're not supposed to be a cookie cutter of anyone.

xo
Melissa