Standing on the Ledge of Faith

I feel like this woman, standing on a ledge looking out onto endless possibilities and yet being afraid of just high up and far out this ledge is.  To give an analogy, I feel like I was told to climb this great, beautiful mountain and after working really hard, I finally made it to the top.  Phew! Now to really see all that God has I have to step out to the farthest ledge.  Problem is I want to stay away from the ledge and just see the view from here.  God, "Keep going...you're not there yet."  Me: " That's okay, I can see a lot from here."  God:  "Hey silly, my view is from the ledge and you did climb all the way up here, so why not take a look."  Me:  "Good point, but I'm afraid."  That's the thing that trips me up and embarrasses me every time.  I'm afraid.   I truly am afraid of heights, so it is that same sick to my stomach feeling, but this fear is rooted in much more.  I'm afraid of failing, afraid of being less than perfect and did I mention that I  hate change and really hate surprises.  So I stand here, where God has told me to climb and start worrying...What if the ledge crumbles, what if the view isn't worth the risk?  What if my fear is bigger than my faith?

This is where I am right now.  Yep, I made the climb but I'm standing on top of the mountain afraid to move.  I heard God tell me to get climbing and I was psyched and took off!  Now though the high of the climb has mellowed and an amazing view is in front of me but it requires standing on a ledge of faith that isn't as big as I once thought.  In fact, the fear at times is bigger and that makes me feel ashamed.  "The Lord is my light and salvation, whom shall I fear?"  Psalm 27:1.  Shoot, I hate it when scripture makes it so clear and makes me see my shortcomings.  It's clear, but I'm human and I'm still afraid.  So, what do I do?

To my friends who say, "Just pray."  I say duh.  I do pray, I do believe and I do know that God made me exactly this way for a reason.  Yes, I'm afraid, yes, I hate heights and surprises but I also hate giving up.  I know I need to get out on that ledge.  I know I need to see God's vision and keep looking at it.  I also know this means that my faith has to grow so that ledge also grows, because leaving the ledge, leaving God's vision isn't an option.

So, here is my plan.  It all goes back to a classic theologian, Bob(Bill Murray) from 'What About Bob'.
Baby Steps.  Baby steps to the ledge.  Baby steps to looking out.  Baby steps to staying on that ledge. Baby steps that by standing still on the ledge that God will help grow my faith and diminish the fear.

xo
Melissa